NBA Mock Draft

Yes, it's NBA Draft night. Reading through the millions of mock drafts that are trying their hardest to pinpoint every pick, I'm going a different route. My mock draft will literally mock the draft. I won't pretend to know what's going on -- because I don't -- and I'm basing my picks on the real fun part of the night ... the unexpected. 1. Toronto Raptors: Brandon Roy, G, Washington Why Roy? Because the Raptors are already set in the front court with Chris Bosh and Charlie Villanueava. Roy gives Toronto the guard they need. 2. Chicago Bulls: Shelden Williams, F, Duke Why Williams? Because the Bulls need an interior presence who can defend, rebound, and score when open. Ty Thomas and LaMarcus Aldridge may have more "upside" but Williams is the real thing who can help the Bulls now. 3. Charlotte Bobcats: Adam Morrison, F, Gonzaga Stop trying to find the negatives with this kid and look at the positives. He can score on anyone and has the motivation to be great. MJ has to love this kid's will to win. 4. Portland TrailBlazers: Andrea Bargnani, F, Italy He makes sense because he won't be able to understand all of the crap coming from the mouths of Zack Randolph, Darius Miles, and the rest of these scumbags. Plus, he's going to be a terrific player. 5. Atlanta Hawks: Randy Foye, G, Villanova Why Foye? Because he's a two-way guard who can play. Last I checked, Atlanta desperately needs someone like that. 6. Minnesota Timberwolves: Tyrus Thomas, F, LSU The perfect fit in the Twin Cities. He may not be polished but his energy and defensive capabilities will have KG smiling again. 7. Boston Celtics: Rudy Gay, F, UConn Take Gay, package him with whatever contract -- Dan Dickau, Brian Scalabrine, Wally Szczerbiak, Raef LaFrentz -- and trade him. Come on Danny, find Pierce a player to get him to the next level so he doesn't have to hear Antoine talk about winning the ring for eternity. 8. Houston Rockets: J.J. Redick, G, Duke So what if America hates him? He can shoot from anywhere and that will help Yao and McGrady more than another athlete that will just get in their way. 9. Golden State Warriors: LaMarcus Aldridge, F, Texas Aldridge may be Joe Smith, circa 2006, but they do need a post player. And "Big Baby" Glen Davis -- the man who tortured Aldridge in the NCAA's -- is still at LSU. 10. Seattle SuperSonics: Cedric Simmons, F, NC State They did trade for Chris Wilcox, an athletic big man from the ACC who couldn't score in a YMCA old timer's game, so why not Simmons? 11. Orlando Magic: Marcus Williams, G, UConn They do have Jameer Nelson but if he's the point guard the Magic are banking on for the next 10-years than Dwight Howard will go insane. So what if Williams steals, is fat, and underachieved in college, this is the NBA Draft ... everyone gets a second chance. 12. Oklahoma City Hornets: Saer Sene, C, Belgium Maybe Chris Paul won't notice? 13. Philadelphia 76ers: Rodney Carney, F, Memphis I guess Andre Iguodala isn't enough in the "athletic wingman who doesn't shoot all that great" department. 14. Utah Jazz: Ronnie Brewer, F, Arkansas A guy who can defend. Jerry Sloan couldn't be happier. That is, unless his GM had taken Chris Paul over Deron Williams last year. 15. Oklahoma City Hornets: Hilton Armstrong, C, UConn Okay, now Chris Paul is taking notice -- that his life will suck next year. 16. Chicago Bulls: Patrick O'Bryant, C, Bradley The knock on O'Bryant is that he doesn't always play hard. Shouldn't be an issue with Scott Skiles on the bench. 17. Indiana Pacers: Kyle Lowry, G, Villanova Teams that need a point guard beware: Rajon Rondo sucks. The Pacers will gladly take the underrated Lowry. 18. Washington Wizards: Shawne Williams, F, Memphis A team in need of an athletic forward gets one. Won't get them past the Cavaliers however. 19. Sacramento Kings: Thabo Sefolosha, G, Italy Cool name. What kind of game? 20. New York Knicks: Shannon Brown, G, Michigan State I get the feeling Isiah likes his shooting guards. 21. Phoenix Suns: James White, F, Cincinnati Who cares if all he can do is dunk? That's why he's perfect in the desert. 22. New Jersey Nets: Sergio Rodriguez, G, Spain Yeah, Spain is where to find Jason Kidd's backup. 23. New Jersey Nets: Kevin Pittsnogle, C, West Virginia A big man who can shoot to keep the paint open. The "White Trash" Bill Laimbeer? 24. Memphis Grizzlies: Rajon Rondo, G, Kentucky When looking for a point guard, the terms "overly fast in the open court" and "big hands" don't get me excited. Is Jerry West still alive? I betcha Pau Gasol is pissed they didn't get the Spanish guy. 25. Cleveland Cavaliers: Will Blalock, G, Iowa State At this point, does it matter unless you are the Spurs, Pistons, or Mavericks -- teams that actually find players at this point of the draft. 26. Los Angeles Lakers: Maurice Ager, G, Michigan State Everything I read says the Lakers need a point guard but that makes zero sense when one considers they run the Triangle Offense (doesn't require a true pg) and they have Kobe, who serves as the primary ballhandler. Ager can score and isn't named Kobe -- something the Lakers need more of. 27. Phoenix Suns: Jordan Farmar, G, UCLA I guess Nash does need a breather every now and then. 28. Dallas Mavericks: Oleksiy Pecherov, C, France Totally going with Ian Thomsen on this one. 29. New York Knicks: Josh Boone, C, UConn What do you think Isiah will be doing a year from tonight. And can James Dolan do us all a favor and hire Rick Pitino to "fix" the Knick mess. He could even bring in Patrick Ewing as a powerless GM. 30. Portland TrailBlazers: Leon Powe, F, California Russ Granik, you're on....